How others see you is not important,
important is how YOU see yourself.
I feel sometimes that my creativity is diminishing,
I see new people, with their talent,
their immerse engrossing talent,
and I am mesmerised,
but a little scared;
I think it’s my lowered self confidence,
or my tiny self esteem knocking me back in the stomach,
twisting my intestine, begging for my courage to show up.
I really don’t know what I am afraid off.
Or my own self?
I feel sometimes that this insecurity is just in my head,
that this Wallflower will bloom not just in early springs,
vanishing my existence.
Mirror mirror on the wall,
whenever I gaze into you; why do I feel so insecure?
The first time I see you,
I see me,
the whole me
and the second time I see you,
why do you show me the imperfect me?
I look in you,
and see the bags under my eyes,
the spots on my forehead
and my lips so dry.
The concoction of panic, anxiety overcomes,
I don’t look pretty, my thoughts say in unison.
My therapist tells me to not to meet you for a while,
but if the desire provokes,
I may have a look at you.
But, trust me!
I don’t want to see you again, to see the ugly me again.