The major achievement in life is discovering yourself
I started writing few years ago, not because I wanted to pursue it, but to let out the pain and ease myself amidst my haunting thoughts. “Do not show what you really are“ “Fake it!“, were the sentences people pasted on my face, ’cause apparently hiding the truth was the ‘new cool’ HIDE- ’cause you need friends, “Who is going to befriend me if I cry out my desires and thoughts?“ “I don’t want to be a crybaby, or a narcissist“ I tagged my qualities with the worst words I could find, so as to only HIDE. The actions were to fit in, to squeeze in the line where thousands stood waiting, to get what others wanted. “Did I want it?” ‘It’ was the missing piece, the one I thought was the one which others had, but why was I not happy when ‘It’ landed my hands? I was getting lost in the maze of my thoughts, when a door emerged between the walls, so I ran towards it, opened and stepped out, not thinking for a second, if this is what ‘It’ is. If I had, I would not have surrounded myself with the plethora of magic in hand.
A cute kitten comes every day. Initially, I was scared of it. Black, furry ball with narrow slits, frightened enough, clawed at me. Well, I guess the fear in our heads overpowered our ability to see the reality. She was not a threat, neither was I to her. Days passed by, and she came everyday. You know, because she loved milk, and dad adored her. I used to watch her drink the milk and leave as soon as she filled her belly, and returned only at the time of lunch and dinner, ’cause she was hungry. She had no attachment with us. but dad was madly in love, that he couldn’t see that she was only using us.
Days became months, and even I fell prey to her beauty. Beauty of the small things, her playfulness, her purring. She let go of her fear. Now, she was my kitten and I was her hooman. Never really imagined, but she is my furrball, who goes wild with her yellow ball.
Funny it is, how little creatures can shower magnanimous love, by doing the little acts of purity and innocence; reviving the human in us.
When I was in high school, I saw my friends reading and writing and studying with earphones on and music bursting in their ears. I used to be envious of their superpower to concentrate at such a level. You see, I was a child who used to study in a closed room, with nothing but the sound of fan rotating from the ceiling getting in my ears. Even thinking of trying the idea disturbed me, So I kept on indulging myself in the old art of studying in a closed room with nothing but the sounds of my voice murmuring the formulas, equations, reactions and also the sound of the fan.
Few years later, I started writing, and my brain faced a huge obstacle, big enough to crush my mental stamina to producing content. I think that’s a huge problem for procrastinators. They are creative, creative enough to do wonders with little thinking. But the major flaw they seem to have is the lack of interest and apathy they face after a certain time of being creative.
I guess that’s what happened with me, but I have a secret to tell you: I have found a key to this problem. Well, it worked for me, so I’ll share it with you all too. This secret helped me out extremely, especially in writing. I feel no ‘Writer’s Block’, if that even exits. Duh! Does it? So guys and girls, hold your breath, ’cause I am about to tell you a secret that is going to change your life. It’s not gonna help you write, but make you feel your writing or any other thing you are going to create.
And the secret is, Rhythm Writing. Yes! Well, I call it that. I am going to talk about it in my next post. It helped me a lot in these recent days where I was feeling blank and nothing was helping me, but now I have a solution for it. Isn’t it funny we face many problems but the solutions are so simple and in front of us, yet we cannot see it. Never mind. We still got the solution, didn’t we. See you guys tomorrow.
I toooook a long break, Yes the ‘took’ has 5 o’s, and yes I took a long break. I know I know, I’ve been saying this for a while, but it is hard for me to decide. With god’s grace I have got a job, friends I can rely on. and finally found love of my life, or have I? But still, something is missing. But what is it?
I lay down thinking, thinking about that friend who pushed me over the cliff, not because he hated me, but for me to feel the wind over my face, to smash my body over the ocean of my thoughts,
I know I’ve been on and off in this relationship with you, but you know you are my home, ’cause even after I wander and roam to places, I come back to you. You are my escape, but when you get to close, you are a jail. It’s hard for me to survive my own thoughts, sometimes I ignore, but how long can I run from myself
So I let them soak in, deep. Only the positive ones though, ’cause you are a spectator, viewing the trails of thoughts passing by, only to turn the light green for the thoughts to get to you, not to be submerged in the darkness of our own flipped side.
They say opposites attract, but they were so similar, parted only by an A in the name, mingled with same birthday, Their old school love was the charm, where everyone sought relationship advice from them, and they were not at all alarmed. it’s not like they never fought, just that, the understanding and respect was huge,
Here’s to their 3 long years and more in counting.
“Roll no. 71 and 72”, Dr. Paige called out the roll numbers to form the lab partners. With the pattern going, I was about to partner with Roy, the most unlikable person of our batch. I wanted to curse my name. Why did my name started with an S, why? Being a hardworking student, I never liked people who did little to be present in that class. The people striving to be more than they are, attracted me the most. Alas! I hardly knew anyone, how come I could have come across a person like that. It was freshman year and I only knew my roommate by then and interacted with good for nothing Roy who was my chemistry partner. “Roll no. 91 and Roll No. 92”, he called out my roll number along with Roy’s, as expected.