I Feel Sometimes..

I feel sometimes that my creativity is diminishing,
I see new people, with their talent,
their immerse engrossing talent,
and I am mesmerised,
but a little scared;
too.
I think it’s my lowered self confidence,
or my tiny self esteem knocking me back in the stomach,
twisting my intestine, begging for my courage to show up.
I really don’t know what I am afraid off.
The people?
My friends?
My family?
Or my own self?
I feel sometimes that this insecurity is just in my head,
that this Wallflower will bloom not just in early springs,
but anytime,
vanishing my existence.

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2018, You Are No Regret

Dear 2018,

2018, The Year I Learnt The Ultimate Lessons


You are the best thing that happened to me. You gave me love, made me feel like I was sixteen. You gave me butterflies in the belly, made my heart race faster than Ferrari. You bonded my family when my cousin brother got married, you taught me that family comes first even if it hurts. You gave me an insight of my mother and father and told me how much they loved me. I know we had problems initially when you took my grandmother away, and didn’t let me visit her even on her funeral. I remember sitting in my dorm room when my father called, telling me they were leaving for hometown. How can I ever forget his broken voice and dismayed face with hot tears flowing by. But it’s okay, ’cause you showed me who was there when I was at my lowest point. How, some stayed back with me even when I threw tantrums, how my best friends stayed by my side. I’m glad you showed me true faces of some and made me close to some other ones.

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