One month ago, I was in my room with a blank screen in front of me, taunting me and my ability to write. Many of the readers of bittersweetturns think that I write good (for which I want to thank all of them, for believing in me and especially for believing themselves).
The point is, even though many think that I write well or they enjoy my creations, at that moment when I was staring at the white screen of my laptop and the screen stared me back with a question mark, nothing mattered. Every cell of my brain screamed silently for words to come off. Sadly nothing came, so I decided not to blog anything that day.
That was the biggest mistake I committed.
Another day trailed behind that ‘one day of not blogging‘, and one more and the count went on, where I was in a hopeless position of not even wanting to open my blog to see the response.
It made me more sad. To avoid the whole ‘not doing what I love’, I decided to distract myself with movies and web series and therefore came the idea of Soul searching, which also failed eventually.
I thought I lost that spark to write, even though I tried.
One of the readers advised to keep a dairy with me, which I did.
But it only motivated me to pen down ideas and not the verses.
I used to sit with my laptop and think about the ideas, but nothing seemed to be satisfactory.
I was not able to figure it out, my movie review thingy didn’t work out, ’cause I felt like I was not good enough, there were complexities and apprehensions, ’cause I felt sometimes,
“why would somebody come visit my blog, it’s not that good”
But I was wrong.
Maybe it was not good enough, but It was special for me. Writing is special for me.
Everytime somebody asked me ‘when are we seeing a new post on your blog’, I used to say ‘soon’, but even I didn’t know when that soon was going to come
I think I got stuck when I started pleasing people, instead of helping them or helping me.
After all I started the blog so as to keep myself motivated and in that process motivate others with whatever motivated me.
Never mind, I am past that phase now, and I am here to tell you that the phase I was in, was not writer’s block, that was me afraid of the failure.
How did I realise that? Well, through rhythm writing, which I am definitely going to tell you guys tomorrow.
I know, I am testing your patience but trust me it helped me, and if you are facing anything similar to what I faced, please let me know, and surely visit again tomorrow to see how Rhythm writing helped me.