You are sleeping on the other side of the bed, then you turn towards her, you see her face in the moonlight and think how beautiful she is. You want to lean in and kiss her, but you resist. You want to hold her hand, but you hold yourself back. Why are you afraid? Are you afraid of her reaction? Are you afraid of the what ifs? What if she refuse, what if she says no? You are not sure of what would happen. So you don’t try. But you know, trying is not bad. It can make you gain confidence in your actions, it can make you feel loved, cared.
Next morning Myra had a bad hangover. Her hair were frizzy and she was trying hard to get her out of the bed. Roy came to her and handed her a glass of water along with an aspirin. Looking at his bare chest she forgot her migraine for a while and stood up on the bed to give him a quick kiss for his sweet gesture. As soon as she came to his face, he turned towards the cupboard of his room. “You have 30 mins to get ready. Here, take this. I need to go to work so you need to hurry up” he tossed her clothes over to her. His rude tone reminded Myra of her physics professor she never used to like. “Can we not just stay a bit longer, it is so cozy here”, she stood from the bed as she slid her T-shirt over her head and started walking in the direction of Roy. “Last night was the best night of my life”, she hugged him from the behind such that her breasts were smashed to his bare chest.
“I cannot be with you anymore, I love someone else”, that’s how she crushed Roy. He was on the Sofa sitting with a photograph of him with a girl smiling as if he owned the stars. He remembered that day, when he brought her favourite flowers: blue orchids, and a box of chocolates to tell her how much he loved her for the first time. He clutched the photo tightly, reminisced her each and every detail, her curls, her eyes, the way she shied away whenever he came close. Then he started to think about Myra and how similar she was with the girl in the picture. Same innocent smile, the way she held him, the way she looked him in the eye, with desperation to get away from something, just like him. He felt like she was his alter ego trying to find the meaning she was left with. It was 2 weeks that he didn’t call her, even after when he told her he would. His paranoia didn’t allow him to, telling him that it would never be possible, because he was not capable of loving anyone anymore. All he wanted was to get away from the hurt. He never wanted to be vulnerable enough to feel the hurt again. And to get away he had to get intimate with someone.
In the midst of her thoughts, Myra scrolled down the screen to find the address somewhere in Delhi. She was not sure if she was taking the right decision, but she could not just lie down and let the past haunt her inner peace. So she booked a cab from Gurgaon to South Delhi and started to take charge of every decision she was about to take in her life.
Two months ago she never thought she would doubt herself, but Ruhaan left her no option but to overthink everything that went wrong. Myra got dumped exactly two months ago. After all the sleepless nights and smudged mascara she took a step forward and tried moving on, but failed terribly.
In the cab, a trail of events passed her by where she and Ruhaan were in her bed under the satin sheets kissing each other with naked bodies, but further; Myra seeing Ruhaan kissing his best friend in a party.
“I make elevating music; you make elevator music..” a man with a stubble and shades to cover his dark circles was rapping along the music bursting out of the stereo.
He put a hand in his front pocket and pulled out a cigarette. With one hand on the steering and other to find the lighter, he drove to his apartment on the roads of Delhi. It was six in the evening and he was arriving at his place after drinking every drop from the coffee machine at his office. A new release was about to come on that coming monday to give him his big break. From some guy he was about to become the guy, the Roy.
Work was always his priority, and after that his so called “recreational activities” occupied his empty time slots. His recreational activities were a different kind of adventure, like exploration which involved girls.
Whenever boredom surrounded him, he swiped right girls on tinder and had small chit chats while he took coffee breaks. Most of the chats involved his great art of using words to bring intimacy, which led to sensual meetings and then never meeting again.
That day was his day of sensuality and stress release.
He pushed the brakes to stop by a drugstore, where he bought himself a pack of 6 of durex for his company that night. After picking up chinese for two, he opened his apartment’s door and found his apartment smelling like cigarettes and empty beer bottles lying everywhere in the living room. He rubbed his temple and looked at his watch, she was about to come in an hour or so and the house was a mess after the litter party he had at his place last weekend.
Roy picked the beer bottles and threw the cigarette butts in trash and tried to fix the place when he heard the door bell ring. He looked from the peep hole and saw a petite girl dressed in red with open hair and big breasts.
Roy had a smirk on his face when he thought of the things he would do to her that night. He opened the door and looked at her with venerous eyes.
“Hello, Roy?“, her tone represented every ounce of courage she gathered to deliver that monosyllable.
Without saying a thing, Roy put forth his hand and smiled.
She took his hand and the door closed behind them.