Thoughts To Soak

I toooook a long break,
Yes the ‘took’ has 5 o’s, and yes I took a long break.
I know I know, I’ve been saying this for a while,
but it is hard for me to decide.
With god’s grace I have got a job, friends I can rely on.
and finally found love of my life,
or have I?
But still, something is missing.
But what is it?

I lay down thinking,
thinking about that friend who pushed me over the cliff,
not because he hated me,
but for me to feel the wind over my face,
to smash my body over the ocean of my thoughts,

I know I’ve been on and off in this relationship with you,
but you know you are my home,
’cause even after I wander and roam to places,
I come back to you.
You are my escape, but when you get to close, you are a jail.
It’s hard for me to survive my own thoughts,
sometimes I ignore,
but how long can I run from myself

So I let them soak in, deep.
Only the positive ones though,
’cause you are a spectator, viewing the trails of thoughts passing by,
only to turn the light green for the thoughts to get to you,
not to be submerged in the darkness of our own flipped side.

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I’ll figure it out.

I owe you an explanation,
Yes, I know I promised,
I am delaying,
Procrastinating? No!
Drifting away from clarity, maybe.
I need some time. To figure out,
’cause it takes years for exploration.
You cannot expect wonders within days.
Trust me, I’ll figure it out.
I’ll do whatever it takes,
to get it back.

When I will be in Love with you.

When I will be in love;
I’ll blush when your name would be called by my friends,
I’ll think about you more than often.
Small things would remind me of you.
Our songs would sing along in my ears,
as I would take a seat in subway, I’ll day dream about us.
I’ll bring you food from home,
and call you when you feel nervous before your interview and talk you out. I’ll be your friend in need,
your support system,
your backbone,
your listener,
your advisor,
whenever you need me through.
When I’ll be in love with you,
I’ll do what would be best for us.

Why don’t you once try?

You are sleeping on the other side of the bed,
then you turn towards her,
you see her face in the moonlight and think how beautiful she is.
You want to lean in and kiss her, but you resist.
You want to hold her hand, but you hold yourself back.
Why are you afraid?
Are you afraid of her reaction?
Are you afraid of the what ifs?
What if she refuse, what if she says no?
You are not sure of what would happen.
So you don’t try.
But you know, trying is not bad.
It can make you gain confidence in your actions,
it can make you feel loved, cared.

So why don’t you once try?