I toooook a long break,
Yes the ‘took’ has 5 o’s, and yes I took a long break.
I know I know, I’ve been saying this for a while,
but it is hard for me to decide.
With god’s grace I have got a job, friends I can rely on.
and finally found love of my life,
or have I?
But still, something is missing.
But what is it?
I lay down thinking,
thinking about that friend who pushed me over the cliff,
not because he hated me,
but for me to feel the wind over my face,
to smash my body over the ocean of my thoughts,
I know I’ve been on and off in this relationship with you,
but you know you are my home,
’cause even after I wander and roam to places,
I come back to you.
You are my escape, but when you get to close, you are a jail.
It’s hard for me to survive my own thoughts,
sometimes I ignore,
but how long can I run from myself
So I let them soak in, deep.
Only the positive ones though,
’cause you are a spectator, viewing the trails of thoughts passing by,
only to turn the light green for the thoughts to get to you,
not to be submerged in the darkness of our own flipped side.
I took a break, a long break, mostly soul searching;
in books and movies and web series, whatever I could find to get away from myself,
to indulge in stories, interesting stories, good stories, sad stories, obvious stories.
Now here I am, feeling satisfied, enough to know that I am not alone on this excursion to know myself.
There are hundreds out there.
So, this time, I bring the stories I have seen in the world of cinema, which are close to me, close enough to give a reflection of my inner self.
Every week, there would be poems depicting the stories. They won’t be movie reviews or critic but more than that.
Stay tuned for what’s about to come.
I feel sometimes that my creativity is diminishing,
I see new people, with their talent,
their immerse engrossing talent,
and I am mesmerised,
but a little scared;
I think it’s my lowered self confidence,
or my tiny self esteem knocking me back in the stomach,
twisting my intestine, begging for my courage to show up.
I really don’t know what I am afraid off.
Or my own self?
I feel sometimes that this insecurity is just in my head,
that this Wallflower will bloom not just in early springs,
vanishing my existence.
When I will be in love;
I’ll blush when your name would be called by my friends,
I’ll think about you more than often.
Small things would remind me of you.
Our songs would sing along in my ears,
as I would take a seat in subway, I’ll day dream about us.
I’ll bring you food from home,
and call you when you feel nervous before your interview and talk you out. I’ll be your friend in need,
your support system,
whenever you need me through.
When I’ll be in love with you,
I’ll do what would be best for us.
The starry night blinked with light,
beats on the dance floor blurring my eyes.
I drank in excess, thus the state of sublime.
I was jumping and laughing,
as if it was the last night of my life.
I saw him, coming towards me and I held my breath.
Wondering would he lean in?
He held my hand and we sat down somewhere in the midst of nowhere,
but I liked it with him.
We did not move,
just stayed there;
hand in hand.