47, 48, 49, 50.
You can’t sleep, can’t you?
Tossing and turning in you bed,
You think about those times,
the one that went wrong,
where you shouldn’t have said what you said,
or you shouldn’t have done what you did.
You recall all the faces,
the one that looked you with scorn;
the one with the pity in their eyes;
and the one who think you are shy.
You think about that girl with soft hands, reaching for your shoulder,
the one with sweet voice who innocently asked you if you okay,
when she saw you sitting in a crowd crying.
You repent not looking at her innocent face, as you turned away.
You still have the guilt of the escape,
when you wiped your cheeks, stood up and left that space.
But now, you regret it.
You regret it not because you were embarrassed or felt ashamed;
but ’cause you didn’t reach out for help.
You had the chance but you were too afraid,
thinking “what would they think about me?”,
“They’ll think I am crazy”,
“It’s better to keep it inside”.
Inside! So that you can die, every night.
Don’t do this to yourself,
’cause you know that every night when the cold thoughts envelope your mind,
you feel so much pain and the pain is so real,
it haunts you,
like that dark, cold room, which feels like a void.
You feel like the empty abandoned house surrounded by the forbidden woods,
where you feel nothing but below empty.
You don’t want to feel that way, I know you don’t.
So take my hand and fight it back,
’cause the dark castles can only be escaped by fighting the ruined dragons, emptiness can only be filled with love and happiness.
So escape, escape by reaching out for the door, twist the knob and open it. Open it, to feel the bright sunshine, the happiness and the twinkling chimes.
It’s just a phase, you have a whole new life outside.
So fight it through and believe in yourself.
Believe in yourself. Because nothing can beat you,
if you have the will to be more than full.