You are the best thing that happened to me. You gave me love, made me feel like I was sixteen. You gave me butterflies in the belly, made my heart race faster than Ferrari. You bonded my family when my cousin brother got married, you taught me that family comes first even if it hurts. You gave me an insight of my mother and father and told me how much they loved me. I know we had problems initially when you took my grandmother away, and didn’t let me visit her even on her funeral. I remember sitting in my dorm room when my father called, telling me they were leaving for hometown. How can I ever forget his broken voice and dismayed face with hot tears flowing by. But it’s okay, ’cause you showed me who was there when I was at my lowest point. How, some stayed back with me even when I threw tantrums, how my best friends stayed by my side. I’m glad you showed me true faces of some and made me close to some other ones.
But hey, you know you hurt me hard when you were trying to snatch away my grandfather. You scared me, when I thought I totally lost him. But you were just playing games with me, even then when you took away those butterflies after I made love, leaving me to question myself if I was good enough.
And remember how you once disguised as my best friend trying to cheer me up but instead you forced me every now and then saying that it is you who I love.
Hahaha! You knew how to crack me up, didn’t you?
Well, guess what I didn’t. I promised myself that I won’t feel the pain and turned out beautifully when my body was engraved.
You were not strong enough, ’cause I got where I wanted to be. But I’m glad you changed when I went to Pune and lived a little bit of my life. I thought you decided to not to turn your back on me again, when I first met the geek. Thanks for introducing him to me. If he had not been there, I would not have survived those four months of hardship.
2018, you were not that bad.
I wanted to prove to you that I was not made of roses and feathers, but rocks and pebbles. So I worked hard, to prove myself. Yes, I know I broke down in front of my mentor, and I was clueless initially how to cope up with the industrial mindset. But, I’m glad you were there with me, passing me through everyday, telling me that it’s necessary to go through the struggle to achieve success.
And there I was, with friends and colleagues believing in me when I told them my plan. I learned the lessons the hard way, how you can’t get love virtually, how the real ones are better, how to say no and to end things at the right moment, how to not to let the child inside you die, how to have fun in Funcity but also to be mature enough to know that you can’t waste resources over the only thing that you need.
I know terrible things happened, people left, things turned out the wrong way. I know I became a selfish, obsessive being.
But I am glad, I hit the bottom hard. ‘Cause if I hadn’t I would not have realised that what I have is the most precious thing in the world.
2018: You taught me the meaning of life, you taught me to value relationships, and how futile is young timeless love. You gave me the best people and told me how to fight back when it’s the need of hour. Yes, you took away the people, the things I loved and yes, I made mistakes but I have no regrets.
‘Cause I am in love with the person I am right now and I know life is precious enough to understand self love.