2018, You Are No Regret

Dear 2018,

2018, The Year I Learnt The Ultimate Lessons

You are the best thing that happened to me. You gave me love, made me feel like I was sixteen. You gave me butterflies in the belly, made my heart race faster than Ferrari. You bonded my family when my cousin brother got married, you taught me that family comes first even if it hurts. You gave me an insight of my mother and father and told me how much they loved me. I know we had problems initially when you took my grandmother away, and didn’t let me visit her even on her funeral. I remember sitting in my dorm room when my father called, telling me they were leaving for hometown. How can I ever forget his broken voice and dismayed face with hot tears flowing by. But it’s okay, ’cause you showed me who was there when I was at my lowest point. How, some stayed back with me even when I threw tantrums, how my best friends stayed by my side. I’m glad you showed me true faces of some and made me close to some other ones.

But hey, you know you hurt me hard when you were trying to snatch away my grandfather. You scared me, when I thought I totally lost him. But you were just playing games with me, even then when you took away those butterflies after I made love, leaving me to question myself if I was good enough.
And remember how you once disguised as my best friend trying to cheer me up but instead you forced me every now and then saying that it is you who I love.
Hahaha! You knew how to crack me up, didn’t you?

Well, guess what I didn’t. I promised myself that I won’t feel the pain and turned out beautifully when my body was engraved.

You were not strong enough, ’cause I got where I wanted to be. But I’m glad you changed when I went to Pune and lived a little bit of my life. I thought you decided to not to turn your back on me again, when I first met the geek. Thanks for introducing him to me. If he had not been there, I would not have survived those four months of hardship.

2018, you were not that bad.
I wanted to prove to you that I was not made of roses and feathers, but rocks and pebbles. So I worked hard, to prove myself. Yes, I know I broke down in front of my mentor, and I was clueless initially how to cope up with the industrial mindset. But, I’m glad you were there with me, passing me through everyday, telling me that it’s necessary to go through the struggle to achieve success.
And there I was, with friends and colleagues believing in me when I told them my plan. I learned the lessons the hard way, how you can’t get love virtually, how the real ones are better, how to say no and to end things at the right moment, how to not to let the child inside you die, how to have fun in Funcity but also to be mature enough to know that you can’t waste resources over the only thing that you need.
I know terrible things happened, people left, things turned out the wrong way. I know I became a selfish, obsessive being.

But I am glad, I hit the bottom hard. ‘Cause if I hadn’t I would not have realised that what I have is the most precious thing in the world.

2018: You taught me the meaning of life, you taught me to value relationships, and how futile is young timeless love. You gave me the best people and told me how to fight back when it’s the need of hour. Yes, you took away the people, the things I loved and yes, I made mistakes but I have no regrets.
‘Cause I am in love with the person I am right now and I know life is precious enough to understand self love.

Much love
Bittersweet Turns

33 thoughts on “2018, You Are No Regret

  1. β€œYou cannot get love virtually.” Too true. I think with this reflection you are off to a good start for 2019.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Interesting way of writing, love it. You have expressed your gratefulness for the year and those inner feelings that cause hurt, fear and confusion. I remember when I was 16, many years ago… the innocence, the beauty and confidence (and lack thereof sometimes). You have the best part of your life still to come, even though it may not seem that way. Yes you will be faced with challenges and pain, but it is how you get through it and what you learn in the process. It takes years to find yourself and develop into the person you are… don’t rush it and enjoy life in the meantime. Take care of yourself and believe in yourself and what you have to offer this world.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I look forward to reading about your 2019 journey. 2018 for me was a bit like black treacle…heavy, sticky awful at times, and rich in many ways. May the red wolf moon shine brightly on you and those you love. Keep growing your words and story! Jo

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 2018 was an okay year for me. I’m a pretty boring person, I spent 2018 studying. Not that I’m complaining. It’s actually how I have fun.


  5. Hey Priya. This is a very nice post you wrote:) I love your gratitude in it and I have learnt in my share of losing people I love that sometimes we are protected from seeing someone because we would be too hurt when they leave in our presence. Knowing you love the person you are right now is very comforting and it actually reminded me of who I really am and remind me of my own self love which I fought so hard to obtain. So thank you Priya and have a wonderful life!


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