“I think we should not talk anymore“, were the last words I heard from him.
It’s sad, isn’t it? When you are finally letting yourself to love, when you make somebody a part of your life, a part of you and all of a sudden there is a crack in the glass of your happiness, going all the way up to shatter you into pieces.
But, you are wrong; it was not sudden.
It all started that day, when he felt happy being with you, that all he could think of was you.
Waiting at the metro station, I was looking through the books at the book stall when I got a call from Sivan,
“Hi Samara“, a smile instantly got on my face when I heard his voice.
“Hi, where are you?“, a sudden anxiety was urging out of me, was I looking okay, was I smelling okay, was I okay okay?
“I’m here in a white Santro. I can see you“, he said and I saw him in the front seat of his car wearing a blue shirt. I opened the front door and looked at him. He was clean shaved and his skin was glowing in the sunlight entering the car.
“Hi!“, with an overexcited tone I hugged him, he smelled like vanilla and chocolate.
“You look good“, he looked at me in my white ruffle top. At that moment I felt jitters running through my body as I saw his eyes scanning my body and looking away just when I looked at him. His eyes looking at me like that made me shy and nervous all at the same time.
“Thank you, you look good too in that shirt.”
“Thank you, somebody told me shirts will look good on me so I wanted to experiment” I liked how Sivan was so considerate and sweet. He actually listened to me.
“So where are we going?“, he asked me as we drove past the driveway.
“I’ve heard about this bakery, it has the best blueberry cheese cake ever. We should go there.”, I remembered him telling me about what he liked the most and cheese cake topped that list.
An hour later, Sivan stopped the car at the opposite side of “For God’s Cake”, the best bakery in the city. As I stepped out, he stood in front of me, looking all gorgeous. He took my hand and we crossed the road as the light turned red. Soon after we reached the bakery, I noticed my hand still in Sivan’s. His hands were warm and mine were cold, yet he didn’t leave my hand. I wished him to never leave my hand, but he eventually did.
15 mins later we were back in the car, holding the cheese cake. His fingers brushed mine and I felt the jitters again. I wanted to hold his hand again, but I was afraid. The what ifs and second thoughts revoked my actions. When my mind was running the absurd thoughts, I felt the warmth again.
“Are you okay?“, Sivan asked as he squeezed my hand.
“Yes“, I smiled and he smiled back.
That day, after we drove back off, I felt a different aura in itself. I knew there was something in me, but then I finally had a feeling that there was something in him too.