They would dissuade, they would proscribe.
but little do they know the fire won’t die
The flames may flicker, it may quiver for a while
But with every blow, it brightly shines.
Run away or run after, it’s your choice,
but the dreams would haunt, even with open eyes.
And the Forbidden dream continued…
From where should I start?
At this moment I should solve some test papers, Yeah! It’s 8 PM, set the clock and sit for 3 hours.
No way! I need a break.
Oh god! What Am I even doing, this is not my call.
I don’t want to do this anymore.
Samara was settled on her chair, lost in her thoughts of fear and anxiety. It was a thing to worry, she wasn’t ready. People had hopes from her, expectation (why do people expect, it’s so superficial).
For every science student JEE was the toughest exam to crack. Even bright kids were afraid and found it formidable and intimidating. It was a Godzilla coming to blitz the students with stress.
The sound from the clock was so heavy, it pierced her ears driving her insane.
She looked at the wall clock and sighed!
How am I gonna do this?
The pressure was building inside her, she never wanted this, it was a step toward self-sabotage. Her tender soul was collapsing under the debris of hopes and so-called wishes.
She took a deep breath and calmed herself.
It’s just an exam, you can survive it.
Her room was dark and only her study lamp was the source of light, lightening her face, her books and a bit of her room.
Even her room looked so sad, imagine how worse she might be feeling.
“Dinner’s ready”, she heard her mom from the kitchen.
I am just hungry and worked up, I’ll be fine, assuring herself she stood from her chair and left the room.
Samara sat on the dinning table with her mother and father, fried rice, chappatis, dal and beans. Nothing special!
everything was so quite, like someone was mourning, mourning on her defeat maybe!
“How are studies going?“, he father filled the silence.
Looking at her plate, Samara didn’t answer.
“Beta, Papa is asking something“, her mother noticed her occupied mind.
I don’t get it, how mothers sense everything? Amazing creatures indeed!
“Hun? Yeah, great!“, Samara filled her mouth with fried rice and beans.
“Are you solving the test series? Did you see the tricks given in the books?” he asked deliberately.
“Remember the key to crack is: focus and time management” he repeated his advice 100th time.
she nodded and tried to fake a smile.
“I’ll bring the dessert“, her mom collected the left overs and went in the kitchen.
” Umm daddy I was thinking, maybe we can reconsider that psychology course” she stammered while blurting out the words.
His dad lifted an eye, “I got a good score in boards, I can easily get it.”
“We talked about it” she saw anger in his eyes.
She was afraid but something happened, the fire within her succumbed all the pressure, exploding herself with rage. Every part of her body was screaming inside. Enough is enough, she had to let it out.
“Yes we did, but I don’t want to be like you. I don’t want a 9-5 job.”
His father couldn’t believe, batting an eye he was stupefied.
“I have been listening to you ever since. Did you ever consider my dreams, my ambitions?” Samara didn’t know what she was saying, but whatever it was, it was filled with deep emotions.
“First you did wrong with mother and now you want me to sacrifice my dreams! This won’t be happening.”
With venom dripping down her mouth, he couldn’t bear it.
First it felt like a sting and then she felt numb, her face reddened with marks of his fingers. Her eyes started to water, tears rolled down her cheeks forming a puddle. She couldn’t bear it, her father slapped her so hard.
But the slap didn’t stop her, she was hurt but she didn’t want to feel miserable.
And the fire in her heart burnt brighter, brighter than before.